Alice’s Left Breast
[first published on The Writers' Hub, June 2014]
‘Your great mistake is to ignore the satire
Bandied among the mute phenomena.’
– Derek Mahon
I am Alice’s left breast
And I tire of being looked at.
No one knows the depth of my feeling
Or my opinions about Syria.
Do you even care that I love
Abstract impressionism or find
Nudes rather a bore? Last week
I wrote a poem no one will ever hear
About a piece of concrete
Cracked into a shape like Australia
(Not, that is, because I admire
The country; I just like quixotic gestures).
I am not a pink-nosed captive kitten
For turning the pin-wheel of desire.
I speak tolerable Russian and have,
Through rigorous self-discipline,
Learned not to despair of a universe
Containing Martin Amis.
And sometimes, as I lie awake
While Alice sleeps and the plughole
Giggles, when the heating
Chugs on like sodden lungs,
I wonder how I got here
And how soon I can leave.
