Charles the Predator.

Charles the Predator lives near my house. He sits in a tree most of the day, clicking at passersby and idly targeting them with his shoulder laser. When he gets peckish, Charles the Predator swings down through the branches to Molly’s balcony. Molly is an old lady. She likes Charles the Predator and invites him in for tea. Charles takes his mask off and Molly throws bits of cake into his mandibles. His favourite type of cake is seed cake. Charles also likes wearing Molly’s hats. Molly has lots of hats. Charles’ favourite is a lime green and ivory fascinator. Molly is too polite to tell Charles that these colours really don’t suit him. Sometimes Charles goes window shopping. Once he went into his favourite shop, the bridal shop, and got fitted for a wedding dress. It was a cream dress with a ten foot train and seed pearls on the corset. All the assistants said he looked lovely, but Charles thought he looked fat and ran out of the shop crying. It was not a happy day for Charles, and he only felt better after he had collected the skulls of three fat businessmen who sniggered at him as they walked beneath his tree and heard his mournful tears.