A Song of Chips and Gravy

I am Ned Stark of Blackpool, foulest resort destination in all the Western Lands. My family have worked the donkeys on this beach for a thousand years, since the evil ones first crossed our borders from Hull and Liverpool, searching for flavoured rock and the sunlight to soothe their stinking hides. My ancestral home is Beach Hut No. 7 and my life is lived by the eternal motto of my house: ‘The wankers are coming.’ To aid me in my struggle, I bear the greatsword Lemon-Top, spell-forged from a thousand ice lolly sticks in the swirling mists of time. With this ancient weapon I command the unholy spawn of Scouse and Kipper to await my judgement. Shall it be Flo or shall it be Mopsy? Who shall bear them to their doom? This is the burden I carry in the name of my people, now and always. My name is Eddard Stark of the House Stark, my blazon is the donkey rampant wearing a straw hat, and I will have my supper in this life or the next.

This image was kindly created for me by my brother-in-law, as I don't have Photoshop. I was only asking for something simple, something deliberately crap, but this actually looks as good as the HBO publicity shots - thus showing up the shittiness of my joke. Thanks, James.

Comments

[Martha]

Came across this in a google search for 'donkey in a straw hat' Thanks for the giggle!