Import/Export.

Reading through a shipping company’s insurance form kind of makes me feel like my life should be a lot more interesting. Who are these people insuring, James Bond?

(i) This insurance covers your personal property and valuable articles against war, insurrection, unlawful expropriation, sabotage or terrorism. We highly recommend this coverage in today's turbulent global environment.
(ii) Coverage is "All-Risk" including theft and mysterious disappearance.
(iii) Coverage will pay for legal defense costs (when applicable) from the first dollar.

(They also agree to cover electronic and/or mechanical derangement. I empathise strongly with these appliances.)