About

Freelance writer. Bad poet. Based in São Paulo. More.

Entries in funny (28)

Monday
Mar102014

Rendition.

I sign a lot of online petitions and write to my MP fairly regularly, mostly through advocacy sites such as 38 Degrees and SumofUs.org. Sometimes I worry about the effect this is having.

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Thursday
Jan232014

BEST BRAZILIAN T-SHIRTS.

Updated on Thursday, March 20, 2014 at 12:42PM by Registered CommenterMatt Phipps

Updated on Tuesday, March 17, 2015 at 07:45PM by Registered CommenterMatt Phipps

In addition to compiling a list of my favourite Brazilan forenames, I've also recently taken to noting down my favourite Brazinglish t-shirt slogans.

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Tuesday
Mar122013

My Letter of Application to Mi6.

For some reason, I still haven't received a response. It's probably the dodgy postal connections between here and the UK again.

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Sunday
Jul292012

Close-Reading the Cliff Richard Calendar: May & June.

During the months of May and June, Cliff's hobby of collecting obscure vehicles developed into a costly and painful obsession. Sadly, there was nothing very unusual about this behaviour – the calendars from '77, '78, '83, '89, '90, '98 and 2000 all testify to Cliff's troubled history of transport addiction and the tragic toll it took upon his career. More troubling, however, is the way in which Cliff found himself simultaneously drawn during this period towards the notoriously addictive pairing of alligators and critical theory.

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Tuesday
Jun122012

The Bikini Shop.

Rua dos Pinheiros. Glamorous like Slough.Some weeks ago my wife and I went into a shop selling beachware to look at some Havaianas. It wasn’t a trendy store on Ipanema or a boutique on Oscar Freire. No, it was a nondescript, slightly shabby shop on a typical São Paulo street – which is to say dirty, congested and ninety-five kilometres from the sea. Given the banality of the circumstances, it was strange, then, to walk inside and see six young women moving about in the shadows at the back of the shop in various states of undress, giggling with excitement.

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