About

Freelance writer. Bad poet. Based in São Paulo. More.

Entries in funny (28)

Thursday
Apr192012

A Brief History of Cockroaches.

You know that bit in Wall-E when he rolls over the little apocalypse-friendly cockroach, and Wall-E's horrified because he thinks he’s inadvertently killed his buddy, but then the cockroach pops back up again? Well, I am now in a position to tell you that is not some fanciful sprinkling of Hollywood fairy dust. No suspension of disbelief is required when watching that scene. That shit is real.

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Friday
Apr062012

Close-Reading the Cliff Richard Calendar: March & April.

Sigh. I find it really hard to talk about this image.

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Monday
Feb272012

Lost in Translation.

It is my firm belief that if you read the ‘Romance’ section of the Lonely Planet’s Brazilian-Portuguese phrasebook in one sitting, you can perceive the shadowy form of an entire self-contained narrative behind the latticework of chat-up lines, rejections and sexual instruction. And here’s the rub: the narrative is a tragedy – a perfectly condensed, miniature tragedy of misunderstanding, frustration and disappointment.

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Monday
Feb202012

Close-Reading the Cliff Richard Calendar: January & February.

Every month of the 2012 Cliff Richard calendar provides its own unique delight. Taken together, they’re simply too much pleasure for the average human heart to bear without exploding down your chest. So, I’ll take them one at a time, or two at a time if I’ve been lazy.

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Monday
Feb202012

Subtitles for my son's favourite books.

That’s Not My TractorA Tragedy in Four Parts.

Piglet’s 123: A Harrowing Tale of Lust, Betrayal and Fiscal Accounting.

Old BearThe Most Searing Exposé of Care for the Elderly Since Mog the Forgetful Cat.

The Snail and the WhaleInter-Species Love with a Twist in the Tail.

How Much Do I Love You?Not Very Much.

The Tiger Who Came In From The ColdThe Secret Life of Spy Cats.